Fire!

One of the problems my father has now is going to sleep. This is especially true on the nights my mother works (she works some nights). As soon as she leaves for work, he begins to say it is time for bed. For some reason once she is no longer here, it is bed time. Normally I try to keep him up until about 10 pm hoping that he will sleep thru the night once he finally goes to sleep. That is the crux. He won't stay in bed and go to sleep.

Although he will continually try to go to bed for hours, once you tell him - "OK, go to bed" he will begin to worry about everything, and he won't go to sleep. Every few minutes he will be out of bed and asking:

Who is going to wake me up in the morning?

When am I leaving here?

Who is going to come get me?

What am I going to do for breakfast?

I don't have any money, how am I going to pay to stay here? or to eat here? (He doesn't think this is his home).

Where is my wife?

She is coming here? Will I get to see her? Will I be able to talk to her?

What if the people who live here show up?

Am I allowed to sleep in this bed (his own)? I don't have any money to pay for it.

What about all of those people (points to television). Are they staying here also?

I hate to bother you but there is a fire in here.

This last one bothered me a great deal the first time he came and told me. I went to investigate and the fire was the light on in the bathroom so he could see if he needed to go in the middle of the night. Now I know anything that has a light that shines in the dark - computer tower, night lights, VCR light, clock, power strip, anything at all, may be the source of the "Fire" in his mind.

You must still take it seriously. You never know when there may actually be a fire. And unlike the Story about the boy who cried wolf, you can not ever assume it is NOT a fire. So check it out and try to reassure them all is ok. You may even have to turn off (or power down) appliances as inconvenient as that may be so their little led lights don't shine.

So be prepared for questions, be prepared for long nights with little sleep, be prepared for that insecurity to arise. They don't remember so it is frightening to them. Not knowing. Never knowing. always in the dark